Top 12 Kitchen Injury Horror Stories

This week on Facebook, we asked folks to share their kitchen injury horror stories: And the gory, hilarious, wince-worthy stories are still flying. As one sagacious reader put it: “If you haven’t been hurt, you’re not a cook. If you’ve lost count of the scars, you’re a chef.” Public Enemy #1 is, perhaps unsurprisingly, the mandoline, which has claimed more than its fair share of fingertips, fingerprints, and knuckles. Here are the twelve tales of trauma that had us cringing, laughing, and ooohhh-ing in horrified recognition: 12. “Was cutting a watermelon for a buffet and sliced open my finger. We went to the ER and the waiting room TV was on Food Network. My friend nudged me…I looked up…The host of the current show was explaining the safe way to cut a watermelon. We laughed so hard the receptionist had to shut us up!” 11. “I allowed a man I loved to use my best knife. He broke my heart.” 10. “Had an old propane stove; the oven was lit with a match (no pilot). I turned it on while chatting with a friend and forgot to light it. When I remembered a few minutes later, I opened the door to air it out, and then turned on the propane and lit the match. POW! The gas, which had settled but had not dissipated, blew the broiler door open, melting my shoelaces and singeing my eyebrows. I was startled, but not hurt (and went on with my baking). But the amazing part was how my normally slow-as-molasses husband came running into the kitchen to see what I’d blown up.” 9. “I have a kitchen utensil that is a vegetable chopper, has a blade and a flat anvil. It is superb for chopping broccoli, removing the ends of corn cobs and slicing through anything tough, such as carrots. I was chopping some broccoli on evening and nearly severed the side of the middle finger on my left hand. I bleed profusely when cut. My wife wasn’t home, so I tried to fix the cut with the judicious application of some Gorilla glue and duct tape. I didn’t work. I tore off a strip from a towel, wrapped it around my finger and thought, “Well, it’ll stop bleeding in a few minutes.” It didn’t. Finally my wife arrived to a scene that looked like the killing floor of an abattoir. She immediately said, with ill concealed exasperation, “Get yourself in the car.” Off to urgent care and eighteen stitches later, all was well. The nurse said, “Guys always use duct tape.”” 8. “As I child I got my ponytail caught in the electric mixer. Ugh! Painful, scary and cookie dough in the hair–not fun!” 7. “Worst one was grabbing a white hot sheet pan with my bare hand while preparing food for a catering gig! Couldn’t lose the food so had to hold on long enough to throw it on the top of the stove!” top 6 stories after the jump… 6….

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